Nobody Asks the Dad How He's Doing
The quiet grief of men in the fertility journey, and why they need to be seen too.
Nobody asks the dad how he's doing.
They ask about his wife. His partner. The one whose body is carrying the appointments, the injections, the waiting. And he answers for both of them, because that is what he thinks he is supposed to do.
But he is grieving too.
Quietly. In the car before he walks inside. In the space between "we're fine" and the truth.
He is carrying more than anyone sees
He holds her hand during the transfer and holds his breath through the two week wait. He researches clinics at midnight. He runs the numbers on the next cycle before anyone asks. He absorbs the news, good or bad, and then figures out how to keep going.
And when someone checks in, the question almost always lands on her. Which is right. She needs it.
But he needs it too.
If you love a man who has been carrying this in silence
Tell him you see him today. Not tomorrow. Not after the next appointment. Today.
He needs to hear it more than he will ever say.
Send this to the woman who is loving a man through this. He is lucky to have her. 🧡
From the publisher
You don't have to carry the cost alone.
Gift of Parenthood awards a $20,000 Family Fund grant each cycle and helps families fundraise for IVF, surrogacy, and adoption. If this is your journey, there's a place to start.