Tommy and Cody Are Ready to Be Dads

Tommy and Cody met because of a filter setting. Tommy was seven months into a solo trip around the world when, somewhere in China, he removed the distance filter on his dating app and matched with Cody, who was in Sydney, Australia. A few months later, Tommy showed up down under for a beer. They talked for hours, were too nervous to admit what was obviously happening, and agreed to meet again in the Philippines three months later. Six months after that, they were married. Cody hadn't even met Tommy's family yet.

That was eight years ago. Since then they have seen a good chunk of the world on a shoestring, immigrated across the Pacific, bought a condo in Downtown St. Louis, and built a life they are genuinely proud of: careers they love, a supportive community, and reef aquariums they cheerfully admit are too elaborate for two grown adults.

Choosing Their Path to Parenthood

When Tommy and Cody decided they wanted to be parents, they also had to decide the why and the how. They are a gay couple, and they thought carefully about every path before choosing surrogacy. In their words, they wanted to give their child the simplest possible start within an already complicated family dynamic. Two dads, plus the legalities of dual nationality, is already a lot for a kid to navigate. Surrogacy felt like the most intentional, protective choice they could make.

What nobody tells you, they say, is how much that choice costs. Not only financially, though that part is staggering, but emotionally: the research, the paperwork, the legal complexity, the constant tension between being financially responsible and simply wanting to be dads. It has felt like a second full-time job on top of two demanding careers. They have been at this for years. They are signed with their agency. They are incredibly excited, and, as Cody puts it, maybe slightly terrified.

Why the Cost Is So Heavy

For many families, the steps toward a child arrive quietly and without invoices. For Tommy and Cody, every step has a price tag attached: testing and collection, egg donor retrieval, embryo creation and genetic testing, transfer, surrogate payments and medical care, agency fees, legal fees, a birth certificate, travel. As they put it, every single line item is non-negotiable. There is no cutting corners on a child. And because any pregnancy journey can bring the unexpected, there is no true ceiling on the cost either.

They also hope, eventually, for a second child, a sibling to share the journey with. That is only possible with help.

How You Can Help

Here is what Tommy and Cody know for certain: they are going to be great dads. Their families are ready to welcome a new member. Their closest friends are all having kids right now too. They have thought about this from every angle, and they cannot wait.

If their story moves you, read it in their own words and chip in whatever you can. No amount is too small; every contribution brings them closer. And if giving isn't possible right now, sharing their fundraiser with someone who might help matters just as much.